Day 3: On Loss and Worship
Written by Jenny Walley
Morning Prayer
Naming losses
At the time of writing, I am sitting with my children as they grieve the loss of our trip to visit their grandparents in America. I know that we will be able to reschedule at a later time, but for them, it is catastrophic. As I enter into their grief about this, my temptation is to say something like, “It’s okay. At least we have a roof over our heads,” or something else to minimize their sadness.
But I check myself and choose instead to be present to them in their disappointment. As I sit with them, I realize that this is how our Father holds me in my own losses. He can see the end from the beginning, and knows how it will end, but I don’t.
Loss and grief are topics most of us are not comfortable with. We prefer when they are far away and touch other people’s lives. However, when our lives are impacted by quarantine, an illness, or the need to prevent the spread of it we are forced to look at what we’ve lost because of it. As this virus spreads around the world the amount of loss and grief continue to accumulate.
Just as I was tempted to brush off my children’s sadness over not being able to visit their grandparents there is a temptation to brush off the grief of other losses. The wedding you weren’t able to attend. The conference or trip that’s been cancelled. The creative project you had to leave unfinished. The school trip, or year end projects you’ve been working on that you’ll not get to present. A work or school farewell party that won’t happen this year.
What about the relational loss or tension? Your work or school environment, people you brushed up against daily that you won’t see in the same way for awhile? If you live alone, you have lost contact with friends and acquaintances . If you live with others, you have lost your independence and some precious time alone.
What about the loss of control (or the illusion of it) over your time and energy? The loss of structure? Your roles or identity?
Take some time to name and write down these losses in the presence of God.
Have a read of Psalm 3, and let this be your prayer this morning.
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Midday Reflection
The Psalmists were not shy about expressing the whole range of emotions to God. In fact, there are more lament Psalms than any other genre. In these laments, the Psalmists engaged their pain, questions and anger within the framework of their covenant relationship and submission to God.
There are a few key movements within the lament Psalms. Let’s look at Psalm 44 as an example of these movements:
Direct address to God: (Psalm 44:1)
Protest: They tell God what is wrong. (Psalm 44:9-22)
Petition: They tell God what they want Him to do about it. (Psalm 44:23-26)
Praise: They express trust in God today, based on His character and His action in the past, even if they can’t yet see the outcome. (Psalm 44:1-8)
Writing a lament
As you think about the losses you named this morning, what would it look like to write a lament to God? If you would find it helpful, take some time with the four movements above and write out your thoughts within this framework. Don’t try to force any of the movements, but have a dialog with God as to what he might want to show you about himself or yourself.
"The reason the darkness may be faced and lived is that even in the darkness, there is One to address. The One to address in the darkness is not simply a part of the darkness (John 1:1-5). Because this One has promised to be in the darkness with us, we find the darkness strangely transformed, not by the power of easy light, but by the power of relentless solidarity. Out of the "Fear not" of that One spoken in the darkness, we are marvelously given new life, we know not how."
(Walter Brueggemann 2001, Spirituality of the Psalms, xiii)
Tammy Lundell, who is quarantined in Italy at the time of this writing (March 2020), put this worship set together to help us move through the movements from grief to praise. You can listen to her here: Exploring grief and loss through worship.
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An evening prayer of examen on the day
Each evening before going to bed, take some time to sit with God, reviewing the day and considering the following questions:
What has been good today?
Take some time to write down everything you are thankful for...the taste of your morning coffee, something that made you laugh, a conversation you had, something you read, anything. Thank God for these moments.
What has been hard?
When did you feel disconnected? What feelings came up that were uncomfortable? What unresolved thoughts do you have? What anxieties, fears or worries did you encounter? Speak these out to God, and listen for what he might say to you about them.
Ask God to show you how he was with you in the good and the hard today. Thank him for His presence and receive His grace.
What does it look like to trust him for tomorrow?